Diet Problems!!!

I'm straying off my diet!!!!


This is a travesty in the making! I need to get my willpower back and start eating REAL vegan shit! Gahhhh!

I'm also moving in in under 2 days, and I'm really nervous about it. There's so much to think about; I didn't have time to mentally prepare myself (such a lie...I've had like 3 months of summer).

Needless to say, thank you summer of 2011 for being the best summer I've had since, well, ever :)

Defined: Faffing

Faffing.

The word that accurately describes the amount and type of work I have accomplished all day.

In fact, it's been absolutely wonderful. The only stress I feel is the fact that I can't eat as much as I want (because I'm a little fucking bored, but hey what else is new). I kind of like it. The thing is, is that there are a lot of other things I could've done in my spare time between when I went to BodyStep this morning at cleaning the fridge shelves.

1. Finish McCombs Leadership App.
2. Learn how to dance to Sweet Dreams
3. Clean my fucking room
4. Find things in the process
5. Finish that LSD book
6. Take a shower <<sorry, bad habit...I should take more more often.
7. CLEAN MY ROOM

I mean, I've already taken a nap today too. What else can I possibly faff around with -.-

Dear Miss Opal Dragonfly

So THIS is why I really hate HOL. You just find all these weirdos and creeps who are not in absolutely any way normal or would be able to fit in in a normal society OFF the internet.

You have your douchebags, your annoying know-it-alls, your little trolls...

But THEN you have those people who have no self-esteem in real life and have to go online to feel all hoity-toity about themselves because they aren't accepted in actual society with actual, living BREATHING people. They're shut out of social situations, they have trouble making real friends and then they feel like because others can't judge them on how weird they are (at first! oh at first!), they think they're all high and mighty and start walking around like they're queen of the world.

Then you have those people who take everything WAY way WAY WAY too seriously. Everything. EVERYfuckingTHING. Honestly people, we're all complete nerds. We're playing a fucking ROLE PLAYING game based on a book about freaking wizards and witches. We're fucking pretending we're fucking in Hogwarts and we fucking have to take these fucking classes.

HOL may be your life, but it sure as hell ain't mine because, honestly speaking, I have other things going on in my real life. And THAT, my friend, is why you have fucking no life and no friends and have to rely on hiding yourself behind a computer so you don't have to face fucking reality.

**EDIT: AND ONE MORE THING: I absolutely fucking HATE it when people online act like total bitches and it's totally a part of their personality that they're trying to hide behind sweet and cute little lines of texts because WE can't see their body language. BODY LANGUAGE. <<EDIT>> I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm talking about here. I think I'm trying to say that I fucking hate it when people ARE bitches and you can tell through subtle connotations in their writing style that they ARE fucking bitches and have no life and are totally socially inept in real life and basically worthless idiots wasting our precious air and time and resources BUT they insist (absolutely INSIST) on trying to pretend that they're cute and all. Yeah right, like adding a little "*scurries away in a corner*" is going to fucking endear you to me. I know what cute is. I fucking exude the image OF fucking cuteness. Am I cute all the time? No. Do I pretend to be? Sometimes. Am I a bitch? YES. All the time? NO. And THAT acknowledgement, buddy ol' pal, is what marks the difference between a total fucktard like YOU and a someone like ME.

If you're a bitch, you're a bitch. Don't pretend to be something you're not. We may all have our inner bitch, but at least we're obvious and acknowledging our own shortcomings. It's when people like you try to hide your bitchiness and try to be fucking CUTE when you're abso-fucking-lutely NOT is what fucking ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME.

Bite me. I dare you. Fucking motherfucking fucktard....

MOTHERFUCKER: Rain Bouncers, screw you~

I got kicked out of the club last night.


Yea you heard me! I got kicked out! Me! OMGGGJjka;sljdflaskdjfasd.

So I was dancing really "sensually" (quote Othon), and it was all fun and whatnot. I was having a blast being just a little buzzed from the vodka I threw back in the car, plus with a little nicotine buzz from some Spirits. We'd just gotten back from that fucking creepy-ass cemetery (the ouiji board didn't even work! I KNEW we had to touch that little triangle planchette), and I was ready to get down and dirty with some hot lesbian. Too bad Rain is actually a gay bar, meaning gay men. FML. Dubstep night, pole-dancing competitions, I was in love. This girl was like "You're so hot!" after I booty-danced with her for a bit, hehe but I think she was straight....FML. So then Othon, Troy and I smoked in the lounge/bar area for a bit and met this guy from Florida. I don't remember his name but it's not important because he just left and Othon didn't even get a chance to hit on him ~.~

Then while I was dancing, this straight dude (YEA I KNOW WTF!) came up to me, or shall I say behind me, and started grinding with me. He wasn't that bad, too ;) So we were grinding and I was doing my thing and then eventually he snuck in a kiss and I was like woahhhhhh there....I'm looking for a lesbian love, I don't need another guy. Turns out he was 24, still at UT for an Environmental Science major, was at the bar with his gay best friend Isador and knows Alex Hershey. I told him to guess my age and after guessing 22, 20, 19 and finally my age, he was like "I thought you were like 22 and you just forgot your ID because I saw those X's on your hands..." and I was like "Yeah..this is probably a complete turnoff for you." AND IT WAS. THOSE DAMN 24 YEAR OLDS. WHY DO THEY LIKE ME SO??!?!? The dude had a little diamond piercing in his right ear, which I totally liked but otherwise he's not my type :/

It was still depressing to have to leave the club with the bouncer. I told him he was OBVIOUSLY straight, that faggot.

So after learning that gay clubs are uber-protective of their alcohol (and a little admonishment from the outside bouncer for not following house rules even though he'd explained them to me before I entered *sheepish look*), I sat outside looking all cute and forlorn. All these people tried to argue to get me in but the bouncers were like no can do :/ There was this hot rastafarian looking guy with dreads, omg he was so exotic looking but probably gay. Anyways, finally this one dude let me use FB to get Othon's # to call him, and then Othon and Troy actually came out to get me. Thank god it was only an hour before closing, but I still felt SOO FUCKING BAD.

I punished myself by eating Jack-In-The-Box afterwards.

Then of course, the proper thing to do at 3 AM is to go find someone to buy weed from. So we went to the Pyramid and smoked from Troy's Volcano and got completely stoned. Like, who the fuck is Sandler Man? What's he doing on the road?

I also peed again on the side of the road.

Ego Boost of the Day: Guys yelling out "Hey, you look absolutely smoking in that terrific two piece of yours. Woooo!" and checking me out and shit. It was all good. ^props to those two guys though.

Rain: Round Two

I'm heading off to Rain, and this time I'm better prepared.

I've already stored all my shit in my brother's room so I'm good. Eric blatantly refused to let me sneak out of his window, the goodie two shoes. Nick still wants $5 in Nexon cash for window usage...lol.

As of right now, I am frustrated with the ability of people on HOL to type and/or write messages to other people. They give me nothing to work with and they're not even that interesting of people. My only similarity with these people is that at one point in time we read a Harry Potter book, and now we're nerdy enough to be playing a massive role-playing game about it. God.

I'm reading Contact by Carl Sagan right now. Good shit. <3

Gotta head out in about 25 mins to catch Rob :)

I'm finally sore!

PROGRESS. I have made significant progress.

Today marks the first day I have officially followed my new diet plan to the letter. To the letter. Less than 1200 calories consumed, most of it from protein, none from direct simple carbohydrates, sugar limited to only that from the fruit variety and I even managed to start jumping rope. Thank you SparkPeople!

Today also marks the day I've decided to rejoin Hogwarts Online under a different moniker. The first time didn't go so well for me, so I'm hoping that maybe I can be a little more of myself (meaning more likeable COUGH COUGH) instead of a little pretentious Slytherin bitch. :) But it turns out fate comes around to bite me in the ass sometimes, because right when I had resigned and embraced the fact I could deal with being in Ravenclaw, blue being my color and all, HOL decided to put me in Gryffindor. FUCKING GRYFFINDOR. NOOO GODDAMMIT NOOOO WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME??!?!?!??? <- caps lock rage.

I'm so obsessed with fitness I almost signed up for a 5:45 am running class in Spicewood Springs. Also, the last of my hosiery has arrived from the Ebay Schmebay market, but I am still awaiting my lovely more realistic cosplay wig ^^

AT THIS EXACT MOMENT I have finished texting Jello telling her to join HOL with me because I really really need a real-life buddy to play this game with me. It is also apt to mention that she still frequents Chat Roulette even though hot English women masturbate to her face while they chat. Maybe it's an ego boost ;)

Why do I keep smelling that shirt...(you know which shirt, dumbbutt).

I suck and Jello hates penis. Blows.

H3h3 hello world. I've completely messed up this time, and I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of what life is going to be like in college.

So I thought I'd be accepted to Leadership Week and then I was. Well I totally forgot to RSVP so they took me off the leadership team. The only reason I even signed up for that was to have something with the word "leadership" in it for my resume to apply for the Business Honors program next year :/

Clubbing after Tara's bollywood grad party didn't actually happen (lol who would've EVEN guessed...) BUT I had an absolutely great time dancing my ass off to trippy Indian music and drunk Indian aunts and uncles. Oh my goodness I felt so awkward and shit in the beginning because literally everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was freaking Indian. Brown skin, brown eyes, fucking saris. Even Alice came in with a sari on and she's asian! If I were to count the number of non-Indians there...hmmm, me, Alice and.......Emma. Want to know another fun fact? We're all some sort of Asian. Regardless of racial diversity or lack thereof, I had a fun time ruining my low-carb, low-sugar diet and proceeded to eat weird dough balls soaked in some milk and honey and then some kind of cake made of mashed carrot. Then we ate Tara's face, which had been silkscreened on her freaking grad cake. I thought this was hilarious. It was also fucking hilarious when her cousin smashed a plate of it into her face ^^ The whole thing got even better when Tara's uncle was like "Wait, can we do this again? I didn't catch it on tape."

I had my ego stroked a bit when this girl asked me if I was a dancer because apparently I was dancing REALLY well. Hehe, that made me feel good. Going to the gym is SO worth it guys, because you fucking NEED abs if you want to be able to dance or move and exude PURE SEXINESS.

Yesterday night, Rob, Andre, Adrian and I were going to go clubbing at Rain but lo and behold no one wants 18 year olds in their clubs or bars on a fucking MONDAY night. Lesson learned, we headed to my first ever real hookah bar experience at Kasbah! AND OMG there was this really ripped guy who just picked up our coals and replaced the metal on top with his bare hands. Let me reiterate: bare hands. By the way, this whole time I had been walking around downtown in a skimpy clubbing outfit. I mean, I looked good, I was skinny, I had curves, my makeup looked good. Even Rob said he really liked my outfit and he's totally metro. One of the workers at Kasbah hit on me a little. He just commented on how "interesting my outfit was;" turns out he goes to UT and is part of a fraternity that partners with the Sweethearts. I'm going to join them either this fall or spring....omg....he was really hot.

I took a lot of pictures of Vanessa before and Vanessa now. She's healing up really well and all.

Joell is back in the states now yippeeeeeeee. I'm not surprised to hear about her little...transition to the other side. And she's staying there :)

Saying Goodbye is Difficult.

Tomorrow night I'm planning on clubbing at Kiss N' Fly again, this time with Rob, Missy, Alice and Jonathan. 

But to do so, I'm having a lot of inconvenience to myself. 

The next morning I have to get to a referee clinic at noon. I'll be nursing a hangover or lack of sleep. My piercing is so infected; it's healing but it won't heal fast enough.

I think I might have to take out Vanessa and lay her to sleep for the time being. She's definitely going to close. I'm fighting for her, but it looks like a losing battle. Every time I think we've made a little progress, she goes and gets hurt again. The skin is tight and red. I guess I'll take my final pictures right now. 

Vanessa was with me on May 10th, my 18th birthday. For this reason, she has sentimental value to me. 

Goodbye Vanessa. I think I really will have to say it. But for real. 

Tomorrow.

It really happened!

I really DID have sex with some random guy at the rave!

As a consequence for my actions, I will be sent to Hell by a DJ Steampunk Jesus and forever have to deal with frat boys trying to stick their what-whats up my who-knows-what.

In reality, my navel piercing is infected. When I say infected, I mean REALLY infected, so much in fact to the point where I'm not even sure "infection" is enough to give the correct reaction of disgust. There is pus and blood and blegh stuff coming out of all sides of the piercing. It got better today when it turned clear instead of yellow, but lo and behold when it came the afternoon the infection was right back at it. I don't want to blame the dude..but I kind of do. I mean, he still has the back of my phone cover SOMEWHERE in that place of his. It's unsurprising that it'd take so long to find anything in there. Boys are such messy creatures god.

I've decided that if I were to be a lesbian (a full-on one), I'd probably be the butch. Just saying.

34 minutes - Some extra from FF

(cont. from last post)

• I threw up orange colors and rice things in the grass, lounge area. My B.
• I got water poured on me by Adrienne.
• I accidentally pulled out her hair extensions.

People I wish I could see again (but probably never will):

Adrienne and Rage. COME BACK PEOPLE :c

>> So I have to admit that I act like a total bitch sometimes when I'm not in my normal state of mind. I'll forget about them, not care about their condition, not know what to do etc. Then I'll normally just leave for some other source of entertainment. Adrienne was sad and I felt so bad for ditching her after spending almost 2 hours with her! Dang..:/