Diary of a Muffin Muncher

+October 19

2011-10-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

(+) DAY

Today I felt like I finally met the people that I needed to have met a lot earlier on in my college career. Plus, I've come to realize that some of the people who I really like hanging out with were always there, just one or two floors below me, but I never thought to pay them a visit. Why? Because I was too afraid of the rejection.

In truth, I just need to be more confident in myself. I came to college with the expectations that I was finally free, that every day would be a party, that I could be content as that "bad girl" with a group of party friends that fed my insatiable, frail ego. I've come to realize how vulnerable I am and how I use the approval of others as a direct judgement on my character and self-worth. Of course, I feel better when I look more attractive but attraction will only keep people within my presence for a short period of time.

I'm happy and glad that I'm learning a little something about how I'm not actually that anti-social and that people can actually love me for who I am. I think it's because I wanted Joell's popularity with the friends that she had, and that made me forget the ones that I had personally met. The people Joell wants to hang out with are the ones from her church, who share the same religion as she does. The people who were meant for me are the ones from Business and Moore-Hill and raves and high school. Joell never really kept the ones from Westlake. We're two different people but we're still best friends. Why did it take me so long to realize that?

I don't know where I could ever have lost so much confidence in myself.

Happenings of today of great notice:

Met Max Parks for lunch today! Joined by hipster friend, Jonathan and this girl who shall go by Terrawatt. Cool kids. Not my style.

FINALLY!

2011-10-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm finally pleased with my college experience!! Last Saturday (October 1st), I got my sexy new eyebrow piercing AND started talking to Spencer again. Elljo got Muffin. I still don't know what to name my new piercing yet, but I'm thinking along the lines of Nightlight.

I really needed that last rave to get me back into reality. Disobey II, you were worth something after all, because I had the chance to have some drunk shenanigans with Matt and Troy, meet up with Christen, become friends with Ross, flirt with Maylee and most of all just accept that I am who I am. It's funny, because the day of that rave, I was probably the saddest I had ever been since school started. Heh.

I'm falling..

2011-09-11T23:56:00.001-07:00

I thought I wouldn't fall again.

But really, I should have known this would happen eventually.

Three weeks of pleasantry apparently was enough.

Evan Morrison.

IMMENSE RECAP: SCHOOL STARTED

2011-09-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, so I haven't posted since I started school at the prestigious University of Texas at Austin, because some person was too dumb to figure out how to get around the utexas.edu blogger restriction. Hint: that person is me.

I'm finally back! Yay!

I have rowing tryouts tomorrow at 7am, but I have to wake up at 5:30 to catch the bus at 6:10. FML. I promise to write the recap of everything that has happened this past *almost* month.

Today, three significant things happened amongst all the other interesting things.

For one, I ate a whole stuffed individual Mangia Mia without feeling guilty.
Two, I baked brownies and actually ATE them.
Third, I met Tripp Grodon Williams. Really good friends with the Warnock twins and Mark Judice. WTF. Small world much?

Right now, I'm fucking tired so I'm going to go to bed now, maybe sleep, pop some energy shots tomorrow and get ready to show Coach King what a badass coxswain I can be.

Diet Problems!!!

2011-08-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

I'm straying off my diet!!!!

This is a travesty in the making! I need to get my willpower back and start eating REAL vegan shit! Gahhhh!

I'm also moving in in under 2 days, and I'm really nervous about it. There's so much to think about; I didn't have time to mentally prepare myself (such a lie...I've had like 3 months of summer).

Needless to say, thank you summer of 2011 for being the best summer I've had since, well, ever :)

Defined: Faffing

2011-08-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Faffing.

The word that accurately describes the amount and type of work I have accomplished all day.

In fact, it's been absolutely wonderful. The only stress I feel is the fact that I can't eat as much as I want (because I'm a little fucking bored, but hey what else is new). I kind of like it. The thing is, is that there are a lot of other things I could've done in my spare time between when I went to BodyStep this morning at cleaning the fridge shelves.

1. Finish McCombs Leadership App.
2. Learn how to dance to Sweet Dreams
3. Clean my fucking room
4. Find things in the process
5. Finish that LSD book
6. Take a shower <<sorry, bad habit...I should take more more often.
7. CLEAN MY ROOM

I mean, I've already taken a nap today too. What else can I possibly faff around with -.-

Dear Miss Opal Dragonfly

2011-08-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

So THIS is why I really hate HOL. You just find all these weirdos and creeps who are not in absolutely any way normal or would be able to fit in in a normal society OFF the internet.

You have your douchebags, your annoying know-it-alls, your little trolls...

But THEN you have those people who have no self-esteem in real life and have to go online to feel all hoity-toity about themselves because they aren't accepted in actual society with actual, living BREATHING people. They're shut out of social situations, they have trouble making real friends and then they feel like because others can't judge them on how weird they are (at first! oh at first!), they think they're all high and mighty and start walking around like they're queen of the world.

Then you have those people who take everything WAY way WAY WAY too seriously. Everything. EVERYfuckingTHING. Honestly people, we're all complete nerds. We're playing a fucking ROLE PLAYING game based on a book about freaking wizards and witches. We're fucking pretending we're fucking in Hogwarts and we fucking have to take these fucking classes.

HOL may be your life, but it sure as hell ain't mine because, honestly speaking, I have other things going on in my real life. And THAT, my friend, is why you have fucking no life and no friends and have to rely on hiding yourself behind a computer so you don't have to face fucking reality.

**EDIT: AND ONE MORE THING: I absolutely fucking HATE it when people online act like total bitches and it's totally a part of their personality that they're trying to hide behind sweet and cute little lines of texts because WE can't see their body language. BODY LANGUAGE. <<EDIT>> I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm talking about here. I think I'm trying to say that I fucking hate it when people ARE bitches and you can tell through subtle connotations in their writing style that they ARE fucking bitches and have no life and are totally socially inept in real life and basically worthless idiots wasting our precious air and time and resources BUT they insist (absolutely INSIST) on trying to pretend that they're cute and all. Yeah right, like adding a little "*scurries away in a corner*" is going to fucking endear you to me. I know what cute is. I fucking exude the image OF fucking cuteness. Am I cute all the time? No. Do I pretend to be? Sometimes. Am I a bitch? YES. All the time? NO. And THAT acknowledgement, buddy ol' pal, is what marks the difference between a total fucktard like YOU and a someone like ME.

If you're a bitch, you're a bitch. Don't pretend to be something you're not. We may all have our inner bitch, but at least we're obvious and acknowledging our own shortcomings. It's when people like you try to hide your bitchiness and try to be fucking CUTE when you're abso-fucking-lutely NOT is what fucking ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME.

Bite me. I dare you. Fucking motherfucking fucktard....

MOTHERFUCKER: Rain Bouncers, screw you~

2011-08-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

I got kicked out of the club last night.

Yea you heard me! I got kicked out! Me! OMGGGJjka;sljdflaskdjfasd.

So I was dancing really "sensually" (quote Othon), and it was all fun and whatnot. I was having a blast being just a little buzzed from the vodka I threw back in the car, plus with a little nicotine buzz from some Spirits. We'd just gotten back from that fucking creepy-ass cemetery (the ouiji board didn't even work! I KNEW we had to touch that little triangle planchette), and I was ready to get down and dirty with some hot lesbian. Too bad Rain is actually a gay bar, meaning gay men. FML. Dubstep night, pole-dancing competitions, I was in love. This girl was like "You're so hot!" after I booty-danced with her for a bit, hehe but I think she was straight....FML. So then Othon, Troy and I smoked in the lounge/bar area for a bit and met this guy from Florida. I don't remember his name but it's not important because he just left and Othon didn't even get a chance to hit on him ~.~

Then while I was dancing, this straight dude (YEA I KNOW WTF!) came up to me, or shall I say behind me, and started grinding with me. He wasn't that bad, too ;) So we were grinding and I was doing my thing and then eventually he snuck in a kiss and I was like woahhhhhh there....I'm looking for a lesbian love, I don't need another guy. Turns out he was 24, still at UT for an Environmental Science major, was at the bar with his gay best friend Isador and knows Alex Hershey. I told him to guess my age and after guessing 22, 20, 19 and finally my age, he was like "I thought you were like 22 and you just forgot your ID because I saw those X's on your hands..." and I was like "Yeah..this is probably a complete turnoff for you." AND IT WAS. THOSE DAMN 24 YEAR OLDS. WHY DO THEY LIKE ME SO??!?!? The dude had a little diamond piercing in his right ear, which I totally liked but otherwise he's not my type :/

It was still depressing to have to leave the club with the bouncer. I told him he was OBVIOUSLY straight, that faggot.

So after learning that gay clubs are uber-protective of their alcohol (and a little admonishment from the outside bouncer for not following house rules even though he'd explained them to me before I entered *sheepish look*), I sat outside looking all cute and forlorn. All these people tried to argue to get me in but the bouncers were like no can do :/ There was this hot rastafarian looking guy with dreads, omg he was so exotic looking but probably gay. Anyways, finally this one dude let me use FB to get Othon's # to call him, and then Othon and Troy actually came out to get me. Thank god it was only an hour before closing, but I still felt SOO FUCKING BAD.

I punished myself by eating Jack-In-The-Box afterwards.

Then of course, the proper thing to do at 3 AM is to go find someone to buy weed from. So we went to the Pyramid and smoked from Troy's Volcano and got completely stoned. Like, who the fuck is Sandler Man? What's he doing on the road?

I also peed again on the side of the road.

Ego Boost of the Day: Guys yelling out "Hey, you look absolutely smoking in that terrific two piece of yours. Woooo!" and checking me out and shit. It was all good. ^props to those two guys though.

Rain: Round Two

2011-08-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm heading off to Rain, and this time I'm better prepared.

I've already stored all my shit in my brother's room so I'm good. Eric blatantly refused to let me sneak out of his window, the goodie two shoes. Nick still wants $5 in Nexon cash for window usage...lol.

As of right now, I am frustrated with the ability of people on HOL to type and/or write messages to other people. They give me nothing to work with and they're not even that interesting of people. My only similarity with these people is that at one point in time we read a Harry Potter book, and now we're nerdy enough to be playing a massive role-playing game about it. God.

I'm reading Contact by Carl Sagan right now. Good shit. <3

Gotta head out in about 25 mins to catch Rob :)

I'm finally sore!

2011-08-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

PROGRESS. I have made significant progress.

Today marks the first day I have officially followed my new diet plan to the letter. To the letter. Less than 1200 calories consumed, most of it from protein, none from direct simple carbohydrates, sugar limited to only that from the fruit variety and I even managed to start jumping rope. Thank you SparkPeople!

Today also marks the day I've decided to rejoin Hogwarts Online under a different moniker. The first time didn't go so well for me, so I'm hoping that maybe I can be a little more of myself (meaning more likeable COUGH COUGH) instead of a little pretentious Slytherin bitch. :) But it turns out fate comes around to bite me in the ass sometimes, because right when I had resigned and embraced the fact I could deal with being in Ravenclaw, blue being my color and all, HOL decided to put me in Gryffindor. FUCKING GRYFFINDOR. NOOO GODDAMMIT NOOOO WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME??!?!?!??? <- caps lock rage.

I'm so obsessed with fitness I almost signed up for a 5:45 am running class in Spicewood Springs. Also, the last of my hosiery has arrived from the Ebay Schmebay market, but I am still awaiting my lovely more realistic cosplay wig ^^

AT THIS EXACT MOMENT I have finished texting Jello telling her to join HOL with me because I really really need a real-life buddy to play this game with me. It is also apt to mention that she still frequents Chat Roulette even though hot English women masturbate to her face while they chat. Maybe it's an ego boost ;)

Why do I keep smelling that shirt...(you know which shirt, dumbbutt).

I suck and Jello hates penis. Blows.

2011-08-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

H3h3 hello world. I've completely messed up this time, and I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of what life is going to be like in college.

So I thought I'd be accepted to Leadership Week and then I was. Well I totally forgot to RSVP so they took me off the leadership team. The only reason I even signed up for that was to have something with the word "leadership" in it for my resume to apply for the Business Honors program next year :/

Clubbing after Tara's bollywood grad party didn't actually happen (lol who would've EVEN guessed...) BUT I had an absolutely great time dancing my ass off to trippy Indian music and drunk Indian aunts and uncles. Oh my goodness I felt so awkward and shit in the beginning because literally everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was freaking Indian. Brown skin, brown eyes, fucking saris. Even Alice came in with a sari on and she's asian! If I were to count the number of non-Indians there...hmmm, me, Alice and.......Emma. Want to know another fun fact? We're all some sort of Asian. Regardless of racial diversity or lack thereof, I had a fun time ruining my low-carb, low-sugar diet and proceeded to eat weird dough balls soaked in some milk and honey and then some kind of cake made of mashed carrot. Then we ate Tara's face, which had been silkscreened on her freaking grad cake. I thought this was hilarious. It was also fucking hilarious when her cousin smashed a plate of it into her face ^^ The whole thing got even better when Tara's uncle was like "Wait, can we do this again? I didn't catch it on tape."

I had my ego stroked a bit when this girl asked me if I was a dancer because apparently I was dancing REALLY well. Hehe, that made me feel good. Going to the gym is SO worth it guys, because you fucking NEED abs if you want to be able to dance or move and exude PURE SEXINESS.

Yesterday night, Rob, Andre, Adrian and I were going to go clubbing at Rain but lo and behold no one wants 18 year olds in their clubs or bars on a fucking MONDAY night. Lesson learned, we headed to my first ever real hookah bar experience at Kasbah! AND OMG there was this really ripped guy who just picked up our coals and replaced the metal on top with his bare hands. Let me reiterate: bare hands. By the way, this whole time I had been walking around downtown in a skimpy clubbing outfit. I mean, I looked good, I was skinny, I had curves, my makeup looked good. Even Rob said he really liked my outfit and he's totally metro. One of the workers at Kasbah hit on me a little. He just commented on how "interesting my outfit was;" turns out he goes to UT and is part of a fraternity that partners with the Sweethearts. I'm going to join them either this fall or spring....omg....he was really hot.

I took a lot of pictures of Vanessa before and Vanessa now. She's healing up really well and all.

Joell is back in the states now yippeeeeeeee. I'm not surprised to hear about her little...transition to the other side. And she's staying there :)

Saying Goodbye is Difficult.

2011-08-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night I'm planning on clubbing at Kiss N' Fly again, this time with Rob, Missy, Alice and Jonathan.

But to do so, I'm having a lot of inconvenience to myself.

The next morning I have to get to a referee clinic at noon. I'll be nursing a hangover or lack of sleep. My piercing is so infected; it's healing but it won't heal fast enough.

I think I might have to take out Vanessa and lay her to sleep for the time being. She's definitely going to close. I'm fighting for her, but it looks like a losing battle. Every time I think we've made a little progress, she goes and gets hurt again. The skin is tight and red. I guess I'll take my final pictures right now.

Vanessa was with me on May 10th, my 18th birthday. For this reason, she has sentimental value to me.

Goodbye Vanessa. I think I really will have to say it. But for real.

Tomorrow.

It really happened!

2011-08-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

I really DID have sex with some random guy at the rave!

As a consequence for my actions, I will be sent to Hell by a DJ Steampunk Jesus and forever have to deal with frat boys trying to stick their what-whats up my who-knows-what.

In reality, my navel piercing is infected. When I say infected, I mean REALLY infected, so much in fact to the point where I'm not even sure "infection" is enough to give the correct reaction of disgust. There is pus and blood and blegh stuff coming out of all sides of the piercing. It got better today when it turned clear instead of yellow, but lo and behold when it came the afternoon the infection was right back at it. I don't want to blame the dude..but I kind of do. I mean, he still has the back of my phone cover SOMEWHERE in that place of his. It's unsurprising that it'd take so long to find anything in there. Boys are such messy creatures god.

I've decided that if I were to be a lesbian (a full-on one), I'd probably be the butch. Just saying.

34 minutes - Some extra from FF

2011-08-01T21:29:00.000-07:00

(cont. from last post)

I threw up orange colors and rice things in the grass, lounge area. My B.
I got water poured on me by Adrienne.
I accidentally pulled out her hair extensions.

People I wish I could see again (but probably never will):

Adrienne and Rage. COME BACK PEOPLE :c

>> So I have to admit that I act like a total bitch sometimes when I'm not in my normal state of mind. I'll forget about them, not care about their condition, not know what to do etc. Then I'll normally just leave for some other source of entertainment. Adrienne was sad and I felt so bad for ditching her after spending almost 2 hours with her! Dang..:/

Alright. Futurefest was fucking EPIC

2011-07-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons why Futurefest 2011 totally blew Spring Love out of the water.
I get there, and I'm freaked out because I think I'm overdressed. So I take off my sheer lingerie dress and sport my white bikini top and boot-ay shorts + lingerie number. I couldn't do all the make-up that I had wanted to because I got high at 4:20 with Bandi, not to mention that I only managed to make 4 Kandi bracelets in, what, 2 hours? I hate getting so totaled after one hit.

BUT.

I got mad that the xtc from Canada wasn't working so I went ahead and bought a point of mdma from Matt's dealer at the rave. We met up at the porter potties and it turns out that I literally got it for free. I handed her a twenty and she gave me back...a twenty. AW FUCKING YEAH.

Sometimes I am so glad that I am small and Asian and that we orientals have literally no drug tolerances, because when the XTC hit I was fucking mind-blown. I could've sat on that stupid, scratchy grass for 5 fucking hours. Did I? OF COURSE FUCKING NOT. I had to dance and no one wanted to dance. So my XTC-ridden self went to go flirt with the first guy playing with tektonics, who happened to be gay and wanted to introduce me all his other gay bffls and boyfriend, Ronnie.

I met this hot girl named Adrienne who kept lying to me about her husband and her child in Romania or somewhere but I was like wtf and moved on to making out with her and grinding myself on her body, you know, just so we could get to know each other better.

We pretty much went around like this for a while, much to the merriment of creepy straight guys horny for a "little" lesbian action. I gotta say that when I'm on x, I'm a dirty dancing queen omfuckinggod. I met Adrienne's friend, Rage, and I gave him a semi-pole dance (My catchphrase of the night: Hey do you to be my pole and I'll be your personal pole dancer? ((I swear this works, no guy is ever going to turn down that))). After that, he was all "Ok, you're my new friend." At the end of the rave, he found me and gave me this rainbow glowy pacifier because I was having a slight problem with lacerating my bottom lip due to my incessant grinding. Of teeth. And genitalia. I swear, there were all these creepy Mexican guys who kept trying to grind with me and make-out with me. Adrienne and I did look and act like sluts..but really guys? At least offer me drugs.

So Adrienne eventually gives me some of mdma and by that point I've hit pretty much 4 capsules. I'm gone. Adrienne and I are literally having sex with our clothes on in the grass; some dude comes over to bring us a t-shirt to use so the burs don't get all in our hair -.-

I tried to get on stage with my gay tektonik friend but they wouldn't let us, even after I auditioned myself for 10 minutes.
Adrienne and I used our hot bods to 'seduce' nice and willing people into giving us some of their water. What nice folks <3
I started giving the ground a lap-dance after a while.
We lost Lackey to this hot mofo who was grinding with her. She rolled before any of us.
There were these two dudes who came up to me and Adrienne and wanted to give us a light-show. We had to lie on our backs with them sitting on top of us. Totally reasonable. It was fun.
These other two dudes offered me a sip of water which actually was probably roofies. Adrienne advised me not to drink it.
I ditched Adrienne after a while to go dance by myself in the middle of nowhere in the grassy place. No wonder everyone was looking at me -.-
I saw this hot dude with a hot bod dancing on the tables in front of the stage so I signaled him to come down and dance with me. So he did.
This dude danced on water bottles with me. Then we went to a dark corner. We watched a light-show, I masturbated a little for these people who were parked right across from the chain-link fence (they would not fucking go away) and then I made out with the dude.
This awesome drunk cowboy let me ride his horse at a gallop around his farm after the rave.
I went back to Jonathan's house, he found a shirt, we took off all our clothes and I think we had sex.
Fuck.
Took a shower with him (omgggahhhd so cute when I was massaging in the shampoo <3) and instead of going back to Spencer's, I just slept next to Johnny boy, who drops me off in the morning after smoking some weird weed thing out of this pretty cute bong.
My lip was fucking swollen. OMG.

Short story: Met hot chick. Met hot dudes. Rubbed myself all over everyone. They liked it. Was a huge slut the entire evening. Within 2 minutes of rolling I was already making-out with Adrienne. Bikini turned grey. We ran out of condoms. Got 2 points for free. Lost my virginity. <- he doesn't know that though. I've been introducing myself as a pole dancer and people automatically think I'm a stripper.

Obviously ;)

DAMMIT

2011-07-31T22:02:00.001-07:00

I missed a day...due to my inability to fall asleep, thanks to my new best friend 'x'.

FUTUREFEST 2011

2011-07-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS IT. THE DAY I'VE BEEN WORKING UP TO FOR THE PAST THREE (3) FUCKING WEEKS.

ALL THAT TIME SPENT IN THE GYM, SLAVING OVER THE TREADMILL, THE ELLIPTICAL, DOING SQUATS, USING ABDUCTOR MACHINES, TAKING EVERY FUCKING GYM CLASS THEY HAVE & CUTTING SUGAR OUT OF MY FUCKING DIET HAS ALL LED UP THIS ONE MOMENT WHERE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OF TEXAS ARE GATHERING FOR A NIGHT OF HORMONES AND BODY SWEAT.

and nice music.

I've got my body, I've got my hair, I've got my clothes, I've got my friends, I've got the goods, I've got the ride and I've got my swagger. I think I"m ready. I just can't forget the kandi.

FUTUREFEST 2011 BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I promised a friend I wouldn't die today...I don't usually break promises..BUT WHEN I DO...!!! (jk see you next year FutureFest ;D)

Dear Ms. Ember Ashe...

2011-07-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

...you are my lesbian love.

When I grow up, I want to be a pole-dancer and strip for money. Even though I'm barely an A-cup, my ass still looks tight in boy-shorts <3

I got my housing assignment today, and I can't wait until I actually move in. My roommate looks really straight-edge (think blonde, freckled, white shirt, Nike shorts). Wait...that description could also fit a sorostitute...it's PARTY TIME BABYYYYY~ All my mom is talking about is the mold that could possibly be infesting Moore-Hill given its founding time sometime in the 1960's. Joy.

It's "Basically" Die-Anetics

2011-07-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

Dianetics: To "Die" For

Basically an hour and a half of solid testimonial and propaganda, disregarding the amount of time taken up by showing the url (dianetics.org) on a black background after EVERY single GODDAMN testimonial. In fact, during this whole time I was watching this the only thing I managed to learn was that "Every man is basically good."

Pay attention to the word 'basically', the foundation of a new religion that is "sweeping the nation." Thank you, L. Ron Hubbard. I wish I was more like you.

I'M SOLD.

P.S. I miss Patrick. Good luck to him and his door-to-door endeavors. I wish him luck and godspeed in selling his "homework" even though we may never meet again.

My Addiction to Ebay

2011-07-28T08:18:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been finding myself in an inescapable cycle of wasting my money, be it on eating with friends, driving people to places or working out at the gym. My worst streak, however, can only be attributed to one of the largest online retailers on the interwebs: E-bay.

E-bay Schmeabay, you say?

What started as a dollar-hunt ended up placing me $70 (HOLY BEJEEZUS) farther into debt. My poor debit card was screaming at the misuse and abuse by PayPal. I knew something was up when there were at least 30 PayPal transactions on my dwindling checking account's debit log, but I just didn't know when to stop! It was so motherfucking addicting!

Before I knew it, there were five packages coming in e'rday. And it's not necessarily cool crap, either. Here's what I've gotten so far:

Red lingerie tights
Black lingerie tights (with a BOW!)
Fake eyelashes
BLUE fake eyelashes
Fake eyelashes with STARS
Fake eyelash CONTAINER
Fake HAIR
Domo computer bag (I didn't even buy this shit!)
Free eye~~liner~~brow liner that came with my schmexy tights
Earrings in the shape of closet items!
Some kind of headwrap...it was only 20 cents

I, Hazel, willingly admit to all hereby witnesses that I, Hazel, do have a most terrible addiction to hedonism and Asian-bargain-hunting syndrome and that I, Hazel, will do absolutely nothing to stop myself other than head over to the gym so I can fit into my new $30 monokini of which is coincidentally the most expensive item of anything that I, Hazel, have ever bought for myself.

But not on E-Bay!! xD